Feel the Love Blogtrain

If you are just coming from Band Geek Designs' blog, then you are expecting my part of this train.  I will have it up for you tomorrow!  I am so sorry for the delay.  I have just been feeling really down this past week and half.  I had to leave my job after the owner's husband got in my face after I made a suggestion that they take what I perceived to be an argument into the other side of the house so the kids in the daycare didnt have to hear, nor did the infant and toddler observer who was sitting there.  He basically said that he was the owner of the house and if I didnt like what he was saying in his home then I could leave.  I felt very threatened and scared so I left.  Now the owner is telling parents that I was fired because I kicked a child.  Now that is just slander and completely wrong.  I am so upset by the whole thing and even though I dont have to have any more communication with that person, it still hurts that she would say that after all the work and love I put into her business.  It seems like I never learn who to trust when it comes to businesses. 

So here are the other stops on the train... Go grab up the rest of the pieces and be sure to stop back by tomorrow for mine!  I promise it will be worth the wait.

Band Geek Designs
Diamond Ink Designs    <----- you are here
Dana’s Footprint Designs
Studio4 Designworks
Digidesigned by Wilma
Little Welsh Girl Designs
Key of D Designs
Sarah Barber Designs
Chocolate Geranium Designs
Feli Designs
DigiDesigns by Denise
Scrappin’ Addict Designs

Do you ever just wanna...

scream and yell and stomp your feet and then throw things until you feel better?  Then run to your safe spot, break down and just bawl your head off?  Yea... that's how I feel right now.  And why?  I have no clue.  I could probably say its PMS but seriously, its like a week too early.  Either that and it is PMS and it is just getting worse and worse with each passing month.  Was life being a girl easier in my 20's?  hell ya... no kids to make my ears hurt, no husband to think I am a drunk for wanting a bottle of wine tonight, no worries about laundry not being done and the dogs not fed.  Shoot, I loved my early 20's!

But those days are gone and there is definitely no getting them back... dang!  And I am getting old.  My skin is starting to wrinkly, my butt is no longer plump, lets not even mention the number of chin hairs that pop up over night!  I am getting my moms ugly horrible dry cracked feet (thanks) and I already have her premature gray stringy straight hairs that I color once a month and they still show up like a skunk! 

Back to my bad mood... I had no one to take it out on so I am venting on my blog... cuz hey, its my blog!!  Seriously... I am in a pissy mood.  WHY?  and make it go away.... I am being hateful and pissy and picky and fussy.  I'm irritable and tired and cold and hot and sleepy and not.  So I tried finding a pic on Google that represented my current state of mind and short of a monster, nothing really fit.   So I leave you with this....

And I am going to bed... nite.

Happy New Year!

I suppose to many the ringing in of the New Year is a special moment, celebrated with friends and family... full of love, laughter and fun. However, for me, that is most often not the case. See, holidays and celebrations just don't like me. If there is a bad thing that has happened in my life, it has almost always been between the months of Oct and Jan... prime holiday periods.

So while I wanted to start off the new year with a great post full of optimism and hope, that is not what I have to share. I celebrated tonight home alone, with only my online friends to keep me company (thank Linda and Liz). Afterwards I started crying and I've yet to stop but I felt inspired to put my thoughts to paper (yes, real paper full of teardrops). I haven't journaled my journey thru life much lately and I suppose its time to again. Keep reading if you wish...

Sitting here looking at the mirror
and what do I see
A face full of pain
staring at me

With tears streaming down
my cheek and chin
I wonder if they
are for me or him

Green eyes rimmed all red
shiny and bright
Full of memories
of every single night

An act of defiance I'm sure
my chin stuck out strong
'Cuz no one can know
how long it went on

2010 is a new year
and 20 have past
I am still waiting to feel
like I am not in a cast

When can I trust
and stop the fear
When will I know
that he cannot hear

Do I get the privelage
of saying goodbye
To the ghosts that haunt me
from one man's lie

I don't understand it
I was only a child
All grown up now
but still in the wild

God has escaped
and left me alone
Crazy they call me
no one of my own

Just me and my thoughts
troubling and deep
Does any see me
can you see why I weep

belated Nov news...

Yep... its December. I know. Thanks for the heads up. Goes to show you how far behind I am on just about everything. Seems to me that life just stopped around the, oh, I guess the 23rd or so of October. Yea, a while ago. Wanna know what happened? Well, I wont bore you completely.

Basically, had a school function that required ALOT of prep work from me and the one other parent volunteer I could wrangle... plus lots of nights working late and then being at the school working on stuff all day... etc etc.. ya get the picture right? So, day after Halloween, I wake up sick. Yucky sore throat and stuff... just a cold but annoying. Then the kids get it and the hubby and for those of you with kids and hubbies, ya know how bad this is. Right, right. Moving on... finally get better and then we have several store visits (for work) in a row, leading up to the President (of the company, not the USA) stopping by which results in one really long shift... like till 5am. Yea... long long night. But we were great and the next week is the dreaded BLACK FRIDAY... OH... FYI - if I am moving really fast, its because that's how my life moves.... zoom zoom zoom - so Black Friday.... {insert evil laugh}... I get the 8:30pm Thursday night to 5:30am Friday morning shift. Its crazy crowded, its hot (because the A/C shut off thinking we were all in bed), half the people don't understand me (I don't speak Spanish), it goes on and on. But in the end, I stumbled home tired... but happy. I managed to get an awesome jacket at PacSun for 50% off... it was my size and the ONLY one there... I had been eyeballing it a few weeks prior but they didnt have my size. Destiny, I think. Went home and pretty much crashed because by now its after 7am and I have been awake a very very long time and those two Monster Loca Moca Energy drinks have long worn off. My MIL very generously had volunteered to watch my kids since she knew I would need sleep and hubby had to work - who knew the the day after Thanksgiving was a busy golfing day. Not me... Anyways, so hubby took the little devils to gramma's and my eyes were shut solid long before they walked out the door.... and they stayed shut.... until 5pm that night. Yep... I slept a long long time! Got up for a bit, ate, etc and pretty much went back to bed. I had to work the next 2 night so I need the energy. Skip past those two work days and you have Monday, Nov 30. I am feeling the need to scrap and stay up till 4am scrapping. 3 layouts done but I wake up in the morning sick... again! By Tuesday afternoon, I am running a fever of 102, so I lay on the couch with my BUG until hubby comes home and then I pretty much pass out... until Thursday night... yep! When I get a fever, I go out for the count. I am feeling alot better now, well rested. Just full of snot like you couldn't believe. But guess what I got a few hours after rising from the depths of my comfy bed... a little BUG with a temp of 101.7 and the sniffles. Ugh... yea, that means he cant go to school. So my one day home that I feel kinda decent, I have a sick kid with me. And of course this story cant end like that... nope. The other kid comes home from school sick... coughing up a small lung and spewing germs all over me.... again. I love being a mom. Yep. germs too.

Ok... was that alot? That is exactly how things go for me. Does it go like that for you? Well, if you made it thru all that then I want to share some recent layouts. Of course, these layouts are created with kits that I got for free - in exchange for working with and promoting the kit - blah blah... don't like it, don't read my blog .

So these first two layouts are created with a kit from CONNIE PRINCE called HEY SANTA. If you haven't seen Connie's stuff yet, then you are missing something. Plus, the girl is a kit machine. I think she cranks out a new kit every day. If you click on the layouts, it will take you to the Gotta Pixel Gallery and you can get more info on the kit there in the layout credits (and you could leave me some lovin'). Ok. Connie sells at Gotta Pixel and Elemental Scraps so click on either store name to check out her shop! She always has great deals and kits for $1 or $2... cant beat that.



This next layout was created just tonight during a speed scrap at Gotta Pixel hosted by Connie herself. I love her speed scraps! So much fun. Well, I used another of Connie Prince's kits, this one is called Deck the Halls. Isn't it cute? Click on the layout for the full credits because I used a couple of things that weren't Connie's.



This next layout is one of my favorite one's lately. First, I just love the photo! I used one of My Four Hens Photography Actions on it... can't remember which one off the top of my head but its one of the almost sepia ones. If you havent checked out Sarah's shop with all her amazing actions, do! And then follow her for great sales. I NEVER EVER used an action and then bought some and and now I use them each time.

Ok, back to the layout... hehe... this one is created from a new kit by Michelle Underwood Designs called Vintage Holiday Memories. Michelle sells at 2 Peas in a Bucket, which is a fun place that is both paper and digi!!!.


And that's it. I had 2 more layouts lined up but then realized they aren't released until Monday... so confusing for me to be early on a layout. hehe So come back to see 2 more adorable Christmas layouts.... from Digi-Designs by Nicole.

My Birthday Wish.... will you help it come true?

I normally do not mention my birthday at all. It comes and it goes. If I get a card, email or phone call... great! If not, oh well. I dont dislike growing older, its more that my birthday always happens during the time of the year when everything in my life (childhood mostly) was going bad. But this year I have chance to change all that negativity surrounding my birthday. I have made a Birthday Wish and if my wish came true then I would have the best birthday ever!

I'm turning 34 on November 9 and this year I'm donating to a good cause: Kawasaki Disease

You can read about my wish here -----> MY BIRTHDAY WISH

If you are unfamiliar with this disease, click on the HERE to find out more. A brief summary by the Mayo Clinic describes it as: Kawasaki disease, named after the physician that first identified it, is a condition that causes inflammation in the walls of small- and medium-sized arteries throughout the body, including the coronary arteries, which supply blood to the heart muscle. Kawasaki disease is also called mucocutaneous lymph node syndrome because it also affects lymph nodes, skin, and the mucous membranes inside the mouth, nose and throat.

This disease is scary... very scary. For me, my 15 month old first born son got it. I wont go into the whole long drama but let me say that when you go into the dr.'s office and they say, you need to go to Children's Hospital because something is wrong with your son's heart.... well, I still cry over this. My son healed and luckily with no anerysums but he has never been the same. I believe that the trauma to his body just changed him and maybe even caused the mild autism. I participate in as many KD studies as I can because this is horrifying to a parent, let alone the child. Please take the time to read about my wish and this cause and see if you can find it in yourself to donate so a cure can be found.

wow, 4th post today...

December was a rough month. It started out that way and it ended even worse. On 12.29, my husband's Uncle Jimmy was found passed away in his home. He was only 53. It was the strangest day because I was on call for my Volunteer program and it was quiet. I received a call around 2pm from my director asking where am I and have I heard the news. HUH? I had no idea what she was referring to. Then she asks me how old my FIL is. That freaked me out. Apparently dispatch received a call about Uncle Jimmy and my FIL is the one who found him and told the police NOT to call me so I didn't have to see the scene. But before I knew all that, I thought something happened to my FIL so I literally threw my kids in the car and raced to my in-laws house. I left them in the car and ran into the house yelling for my MIL since her car was there. I wasn't getting an answer and was getting scared. Then she came from outside... looked at me and started crying. All this time I still thought it was my FIL... then she says it is Jimmy. So I decided to dedicate this post to Jimmy. Kit used is The Four Seasons: Autumn by Alessandra Designs @ Digitals.

LOST word art is courtesy of Elegant WordArt by Bethany.

____________________________________________

Jimmy - a man of many faces. The big bad gruff with attitude and dirty jokes... the sweet softy who had my boys pictures in frames...the one who gave me a hug on my wedding day... the silly one who thought we wanted a dog the size of a horse...the generous one who gave cash instead of gifts because he didn't want to shop...the one who refused help...the one who died alone. Jimmy, thank you for all you have given this family. You will be missed and will ALWAYS be remembered.

Such a sad day!

I never planned on writing too many personal things here but around 8:30 this evening I received an email from the Director of the volunteer program I am involved with.

One of our most cherished members passed away today - suddenly with no forewarning. She was a bright and lively person - with a big smile and hug. Her name is Donna. She just retired a week ago. Apparently she was diagnosed with high blood pressure a week ago and started medication and today... gone. They think it was a cardiac event but we will have to wait for the Medical Examiner's results.

The email ended with "say I Love you to someone tonight". That is what I wanted to say to everyone. Remember - always tell people how you feel because they might be gone the next day and you will carry that regret and guilt for a long time. It is inevitable to not. The burden of forgotten goodbyes is big so tonight... tomorrow... and all the days - remember to tell your loved ones that you LOVE them.